Kindness as a Powerful Act of Resistance

In a time of cruelty, kindness is resistance.

Every single day, I make a point of saying nice things to total strangers, and I hope you do too. As life has become increasingly fraught with hatred and cruelty now official governmental policy, those at the top spewing bile across the nation, every word and act of kindness is a piece of protection, an act of resistance. Every word and act of kindness counters the narrative that all humans suck and are out to hurt each other. Every word and act of kindness provides fuel for all of us in our relentless battle for decency. Every word and act of kindness feels like a caffeine boost for the soul for both the giver and the receiver. Every word and act of kindness is contagious and spreads like a measles epidemic in Florida. When the onslaught of crazy makes the world feel too big to tackle, every word and act of kindness dials us right back to the here and now where we can make a world of difference with small but powerful gestures.

That time we all cared about each other.

Remember back at the start of the pandemic when the world showed up for each other? As COVID 19 ripped through humanity, wreaking havoc like we'd not seen in forever, as well as fear and grief, we witnessed a monumental surge in kindness. En masse, we started masking, getting vaccinated, sterilizing everything, and keeping a safe distance from loved ones and strangers alike, because we cared. We banged pots to show our appreciation for the amazing health care workers who were sacrificing so much, working 'round the clock to keep us alive. I can't imagine that these doctors and nurses ever thought for a moment when they signed up for their chosen career that they would be on the front line of a global, deadly pandemic. And yet, they showed up day after day to help us survive. And we banged pots to let them hear our gratitude.

Here in British Columbia, our Provincial Health Officer, the unassuming, but highly qualified epidemiologist physician Doctor Bonnie Henry, rose to fame with her kind, calm, and caring approach to leading our province through the terrifying pandemic. Every day, Doctor Bonnie would wrap up her Covid-related press conference with her now famous, "Be kind. Be calm. Be safe." I got to know Doctor Bonnie when she became a regular customer after I fan-girled a box of my granola into her hands when she (with body guard in tow) first started visiting the farmers market where I was a regular vendor. She is the embodiment of kindness and calmness, and she broke from traditional leadership by leading with her innate, gentle kindness. I'm no public health officer, and I don't know beans about epidemiology, but I do know that Doctor Bonnie was stuck between a rock and a hard place by trying to keep us all alive without losing our connectedness to each other, and, of course, not killing the economy. After British Columbia's initial swoon over Doctor Bonnie's caring approach to navigating a global pandemic, she ended up pissing off a lot of people who had ditched their initial kindness response and shifted into frustration mode, then anger. Like Jacinda Ardern of New Zealand, Doctor Bonnie led with wisdom, care and compassion and ended up being the recipient of endless death threats by consumers of disinformation, as well as those who just couldn't cope with the immense stresses of the new world we were in and felt a need to blame someone.

Could-a-been. Might-a-been. Wasn't.

I had fervently hoped that our collective experience of the pandemic would not be in vain, and we would walk away with a global commitment to do things differently. I had hoped that when the world had no choice but to shut down, maybe we could take this opportunity to create a kinder, more caring, more equitable way of running things, a world that we aren't constantly lighting on fire or gobbling up with insatiable greed. With our distinctly unsustainable economy slammed to a halt, this was our moment to create a new economy where everyone has enough, and living costs are covered by taxing the fucking rich. Covid showed us how we have grossly underinvested in health care, and that we really need to fix that (by taxing the fucking rich to pay for it, of course). Covid showed us who the essential workers are that we cannot live without (fun fact - it isn't the fucking rich).

Covid - the early years - gave us the opportunity to cast aside our dogged belief in infinite growth and re-create our world based on mutual care and making sure everyone has enough. Sadly, we blew this golden opportunity and doubled down on inequality, cruelty, and outright crazy thinking. Or, at least, some of us did. There are so many more of us who are still digging deep into our creative selves to figure out how to build resilient communities based on kindness and care, mutual aid, joy, respect and compassion. We're here doing this work despite those who would burn it all down for a few extra bucks. We're here doing this work, and I believe our numbers are growing, perhaps, because those who would burn it all down have become so flagrant with their cruelty that more people are realizing that they don't want to buy into that anymore.

Thoughts on thoughts and prayers.

I have a dear friend, SR, who is, the opposite of me in that she is deeply unpolitical. She spreads joy and sunshine in so many ways, but has absolutely no clue about the horrors unfolding before us on the daily (lucky her). When we got together recently and told each other what we've been up to, I, of course, held forth about how I am spending my retirement trying to save the world (one email at a time). She asked me to explain about what is happening in Gaza (the main topic of my emails to my MP and PM Carney), so I gave her a brief overview with the intent to inform her enough without completely traumatizing her (because none of us are any use if we are overly traumatized). When she asked what she could do to help, I did not hesitate to ask her to pray and meditate for peace, and she promised she would. And now she, too, is part of the resistance!

I'm woo-woo enough to believe that thoughts and prayers and meditation are helpful tools on a cosmic level. I believe that they can be a handy contribution to the on-the-streets, online, and in-your-face acts of resistance. On a more practical level, I also believe that, by asking this friend to participate in a way that she can with the tools she has (she's very at home with prayer and meditation, not so much protesting), I have now engaged this deeply unpolitical individual in our all-hands-on-deck fight against fascism. We need peace at home and everywhere, and our gal SR is praying hard for it. And, I think this is just so lovely.

Some Pema Chodron wisdom for you.

Naturally, I keep a pocket Pema Chodron book on hand to help calm me down when I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the BIG STUFF. I just flip the book open to any ol' page and see what wisdom Pema has for me in that moment. The other day, as I was pondering on how to write about kindness, I randomly opened Pema's little book to page 58 - Am I going to add to the aggression? Good question!

Every day we could think about the aggression in the world, in New York, Los Angeles, Darfur, Iraq, everywhere. All over the world, everybody always strikes out at the enemy, and the pain escalates forever. Every day we could reflect on this and ask ourselves, "Am I going to practice peace, or am I going to war?"

I mean, Pema's got a good point here. Am I going to practice peace, or am I going to war? In last week's newsletter I stated that we can't make nice with Nazis, and I stand by that statement - making nice with Nazis allows them to harm others, and that's not cool. Even here, I refer to the fucking rich more than once. I guess I've got a lot of practice ahead of me before I can truly be at peace with everyone, but lately I am finding that I feel more at peace with myself if I don't respond to the Nazis and right-wingers and the politicians selling us out with anger and aggression. In my email campaigns to politicians, I always try to employ as much humour as possible, 'cuz, if nothing else, it gives me a chuckle, and I believe it might be more effective than rage.

I am in no way dismissing anyone's fury and outrage, and the need to express it, but personally, I have found that these feelings eat me up from the inside and leave me exhausted, so I try to embrace some Pema Chodron wisdom and practice peace, even when things really piss me off. Peace and humour for the win.

In my constant search to make sense of the senselessness, someone recently pointed me to Jess Craven's newsletter. Something I really appreciate about her newsletters is that she always includes step-by-step instructions for direct actions we can take. So, I'm going to follow her example and encourage you to take the simple but impactful direct action of saying nice things to complete strangers every day. We aren't going to solve all the big stuff overnight, but we can certainly make things good all around us every day with acts of kindness. Let me know how you get on!

Wishing you so much joy,

Jessica

p.s. In my town, pretty much everyone shouts "Thanks!" at the driver when getting off the bus. I've lived here 15 years and ride the busses fairly regularly, and it still makes me smile every time this happens.

p.p.s. I just realized that this is my second newsletter about kindness. I guess I have a lot to say on the matter!