Now What? We Know What to Do.

Winning on other people's losses.

Well, that totally sucks. BC had a devastating and unnecessary election this weekend where the BC Conservative Party that ran on a campaign to repeal human rights for Indigenous people, shove trans folk back into the closet, and steal our children's future with gleeful promises of unbridled plundering won handily over the increasingly centrist BCNDP.

Honestly, this past month of electioneering felt like a horror fest. Conservatives everywhere excel in marketing fear and stirring up hatred, and the BC Cons scared over 800,000 British Columbians into voting for them through scary (and stupid) lies. The BC Cons scared voters into believing that by recognizing DRIPA (Declaration of Rights for Indigenous Peoples Act) homeowners should fear local Indigenous communities taking their homes. The BC Cons terrified voters by claiming that children are being 'transed' in school, and boys are pretending to be girls just to win at sports and to stalk cis women in bathrooms (JUST FUCKING STOP ALREADY). The BC Cons convinced voters that the only way to make groceries affordable is to extract everything, climate change be damned.

The winning party in this weekend's election won by promising other people would lose their human rights. We should all be horrified that, across the province, people were okay with this when casting their ballot. Common sense and basic semantics tell us that if you're human, you are entitled to human rights. A big chunk of my province begs to differ, and I am both heartbroken and furious.

I made granola.

Elections are inherently stressful, and fearing an unpleasant outcome, I tried to spend e-day engaging in wholesome acts of kindness. Rather than staring at the screen all day, I got busy in the kitchen where I made a batch of granola to share with some neighbours. Sharing food with others feels like the antithesis to this tired old transactional system we're still pretending is functional.

Later that evening (still avoiding the screen) I attended a clothing swap where, amid great mirth and frivolity, a roomful of women acquired new wardrobes for free, and a pile of clothing found new life, and avoided ending up in landfill.

Sharing food and clothing, laughter and joy was the perfect medicine for the inevitable grief and rage that comes from a really stupid election going horribly wrong. As Janelle LaPointe said in her post: "... to be hopeless is to believe that our colonial government systems are all we have got." As pissed off and grief-stricken as I am for the people suffering from government policy, I am also heartened to know that we have healthier systems available to us. More and more people are readily showing up for their communities. So many government policies suck, but we have so much more to offer each other on a human level.

Now what? Now we step up.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be Indigenous or trans, knowing that over 800,000 people voted to repeal your human rights. I can't imagine how this feels, but I know that it's now up to those of us who are not in the firing line to step up and do whatever we can to protect their rights.

As Wilbur Smith says, "The promises to repeal DRIPA and SOGI 123 brought out the worst elements of our society." "Now more than ever, we need to build bridges with the people who hold power. That means communicating with them, meeting them where we can, and putting human faces on the issues they are about to legislate. The far right has made it a goal to dehumanize the people they believe don’t deserve a place in our communities. That damage has to be undone, and the most effective way I know to undo it is through relationships, one conversation at a time."

A week before this disastrous provincial election, our municipality elected a vocal transphobe to city council. I'll be sending this letter as soon as the new council is sworn in:

Dear Mayor and Council,

Congratulations to you all on your election results! Welcome back to the incumbents, and a warm welcome to the newcomers. You are in good hands, and I am sure that the returning councillors will show you the ropes with patience and wisdom.

As the mother of a young trans person, it has not skipped my attention that newly elected Councillor Bowkett is already experiencing some backlash over the nasty transphobic remarks she has posted on her social media pages in the past. Needless to say, this has set off my motherly alarm bells, but rather than demanding that Ms. Bowkett step down from council, I hope that I might have an opportunity to explain the real and incredibly dangerous impact that spreading transphobic fearmongering has on trans folk like my child. I hope that I might be able to convey the harm those comments have, especially coming from someone who now holds a leadership role.

When my kiddo (they/them) told us they were trans at the age of 14, my first response was, “Thank goodness we live in Victoria!” Victoria is reputedly the safest place for trans folk in all of Canada, and as a mom, my greatest desire is to keep my kids safe. My kiddo (now age 25) still lives in Victoria, not least because it is relatively safe for trans folk. I would like to hope that this will not change. I am hopeful that Ms. Bowkett will keep her transphobic ideology to herself and not allow it to seep out into our community. Better yet, perhaps I can help her realize that trans kids exist, have always existed, and just want to live their lives with the same safety, rights and freedoms the rest of us enjoy. 

In one of her posts, Ms. Bowkett wrote: “Leave children alone! No child is born in the wrong body. Stop promoting & supporting the medical & surgical mutilation of kids. What a dangerous, homophobic & misogynistic ideology…”  I’m the first to admit that when my kid told us that they were trans, I had no clue what that meant or what my child was experiencing, so we turned to the professionals. We did counselling and we worked with a world-renowned paediatric endocrinologist through Children’s Hospital in Vancouver. And, perhaps most important of all, we listened to our child with curiosity, love and respect and discovered that, indeed they had been born in the wrong body, and they needed our help to reach adulthood. I learned so much from all of them. That world-renowned paediatric endocrinologist sure knows his stuff, and my kid sure knows what it means to be living in the wrong body. I am so glad I listened to them rather than relying on random “facts” gleaned from the internet. 

Let’s talk about medical transitions. Hormone blockers followed by testosterone were literal lifesavers for our child. As for surgery – doctors do not perform “surgical mutilation” on children. That is harmful fearmongering based on ignorance and blatant falsehoods. There are laws against this and no doctor I know would risk losing their license by flouting these laws. In fact, my kiddo had to undergo strict medical and psychological assessment for each stage of their transition.

It would be really helpful for everyone if people such as Ms. Bowkett who don’t understand trans people (rule of thumb - unless you’re having sexual relations with someone, you probably don’t need to know anything about their genitalia or their gender) made the effort to speak with actual trans folk and speak with actual professionals, and trusted them to know what the heck they’re talking about. I still don’t fully understand what it means to be trans even though I’ve accompanied my child on this journey for 11 years and have come to know dozens of trans folk, but I respect them enough to trust that they are best equipped to determine who they are and what they need.

I don’t know Ms. Bowkett (happy to talk anytime, though), but perhaps you are not aware of how dangerous remarks such as yours are for kids such as mine. Words are powerful, and I am asking you to be careful with them. Trans folk (most of whom are not only completely harmless but are also cherished members of our society) are at constant risk of violent assault. When you spread misinformation and fear about trans people, it leads to more attacks. Every anti-trans sentiment you have posted can and probably will lead to someone like my child being violently attacked. This is why there was a petition to recall you. We refuse to allow your words to make Victoria unsafe for our trans community. I refuse to allow your words to put my child at risk.

I have lived in Victoria for 16 years and one of the things I love most about it is how inclusive we are. I love seeing people from every walk of life, in every shape, form, ethnicity and gender living their lives in our city, bringing their own gifts to our increasingly diverse community. We are not perfect, and we have a ways to go, but, for the most part, we are a welcoming, safe, inclusive city, and I want to see that continue. As our newly elected council, I hope that you will all commit to building on this vision of a city that is safe and inclusive for everyone.

Please let me know if you want to chat in person about what it means to love someone who is trans.

Jessica (she/her)

Putting a human face on the people they attempt to dehumanize. One conversation at a time. One letter at a time. One relationship at a time. Writing op-eds. Mass protests. Visible messages of allyship. We need to be relentless in caring for our Indigenous and trans and unhoused neighbours, and in letting our new government know that they will have to go through us if they try to repeal anyone's human rights. The worst of British Columbia came out in this weekend's election, now we have the next four years to bring out the best of us.

In solidarity - Jessica (she/her)

p.s. Within 24 hours of BC breaking my heart, Brazil and Serbia reminded me that we can have good things when we fight for them. Let's hope that the US & Israel go more like Brazil & Serbia than like BC.