Who and How Do We Want to Be in These Troubling Times?

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world.”― Jack Layton (Leader of the NDP 2003-2011) RIP

Lies, vitriol, fearmongering, racist and sexist slurs and slings, and a million more lies. – Donald Trump (45 & 47)

Dear friends,

The question most on my mind these days (right up there with “What should I make for dinner?”) is Who and how do we want to be in these trying times? How do we want to show up in this world where the psychopaths and idiots are doing their best to burn it all down? Who do we want to be for our children? Our neighbours? Our selves? How do we want to be remembered when these troubled times have passed, as they inevitably will do? Who do you want to be in this fight against the rise of fascism? How do you want to act in a world that feels painfully messed up?

I’m pretty sure that most people really love and admire those uber-mensch-y historical figures like Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Mahatma Gandhi, Jesus, and so many other good, kind, caring, loving, righteous, peaceful leaders from our past. They embody the values and ways of being that most of us humans understand on some level we need to survive.  Ways of being that feel good. That feel right.

But fear is a powerful emotion and, even though it feels awful and wrong, it is the easiest commodity on earth to market . So, when we’re sold a big ol’ bag of fear, it’s pretty natural to drop all those good, kind, caring, loving, righteous, and peaceful qualities like a piping hot potato. It takes immense strength and courage not to believe the fearmongers and swallow their poisonous pills. But we can do hard things, and we can choose who and how we want to be in this big world. We can choose to reject the fear (especially when it’s based on outrageously obvious lies). We can choose hope instead. Hope that, if we work together, we can make the world a better, kinder, safer place for all. 

I’ve been thinking about Jack Layton, the former leader of the Canadian New Democratic Party (once upon a time, a left-of-centre, somewhat socialist-leaning party) who sadly died of cancer just as he was growing widespread support for himself and the party. His parting gift to Canadians was the quote above about love being better than anger, hope being better than fear, and optimism being better than despair. Fourteen years later, NDPers (myself among them) still quote these wise and beautiful dying words from a man who genuinely led with love, hope, and optimism with great results. Imagine! Imagine nations being led by people who turned to love, hope, and optimism as their guiding principles. As Jack said, this would be how we change the world (for the better, I presume).

While I am delighted that Canadians, overall, voted for the kinder, and more joyful (Did you SEE his wicked dance moves on election night?) candidate in our recent election rather than the whiny little hateful fear-monger, the orange menace of the United States seems to be dominating the entire world with his vile, hateful, fearful, shittiness, sucking up all the air, and it’s just so damned exhausting. Lying through his teeth, he used his infamously sketchy smoke and mirrors business practices to terrify enough Americans into believing he would save them (from the shit he lied about). Terror is his top commodity, and he peddles it like it’s the air we need to breathe. And, sadly, a whole lotta people buy it wholesale. 

When we’re scared out of our minds, how can we be loving, hopeful, and optimistic? When we believe that we are under constant threat from ‘others’, how can we be good, kind, caring, loving, and righteous? The architects of the current regime understand how easily people can be manipulated when they are terrified, and they knew that the Liar-in Chief was THE man to sell Fear like penny candies. The leaders of this current regime dine out on their lies about immigrants like Hitler’s lies about Jews, knowing exactly how this plays out in their favour.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately – how fearmongering has always been the path to power.  And then doesn’t the lovely actor Pedro Pascal show up at Cannes with this gorgeous nugget of wisdom! “Fuck the people who try to make you scared… Don’t let them win… Fear is the way that they win… I want people to be safe and to be protected, and I want very much to live on the right [side] of history.” I’m with Pedro!

So, how do we ‘fuck the people who try to make us scared’? How do we choose hope over fear? My main strategy for not succumbing to total panic is to keep active (be noisy!). When I write to politicians, I feel like I’m taking a stand against those who would wish me to believe their scary lies. I’m letting them know that I’m not buying their bullshit and I see what they’re up to. And I am relentless, leaving little mental space to feel afraid.

And, to counter the negative, and embrace the ‘be loving’ part of Jack’s message, I make a conscious effort to connect with friends, family, neighbours, and complete strangers in a kind and loving way. Every loving act begets more loving acts and, in my opinion, loving is the best antidote to fear, anger, and vitriol. Lovingness is contagious, so I do what I can to spread it around as much as I can.

And then there’s optimism! Nothing says “Fuck you” to the fearmongers more than a shiny outlook on life. Even if I might not be feeling particularly optimistic all the time, the fact that I know how much it flies in the face of totalitarianism makes me double down on seeing the bright side of things. Optimism is a great form of resistance because it pisses off the nay-sayers while boosting your happy hormones, increasing your resilience to keep up the good fight.

Who and how do we want to be in these troubling times? I truly believe that most of us want to be ‘good’ humans, but we sometimes need guidance. We need more Jack Layton and a whole lot less DJT. We need to show our children and each other and ourselves what a ‘good’ human looks like, how a ‘good’ human acts.  Over the years, I have attended many Indigenous-led events, and at every single one, they speak about doing this or that ‘in a good way’, and I love that so much. So, let us move through each day ‘in a good way’. In these troubling times, let us be the humans we want to meet on the street, work beside, live and die with. Let us be loving, and hopeful, and optimistic, and together we’ll change the world. 

With love and solidarity,

Jessica

In a world full of Lindsey Grahams, always be a Greta Thunberg!

And in a world full of Joni Ernsts, let's be these people standing up to fascists to protect our neighbours!